W hoever says: "My name is So-and-So and I am an alcoholic" speaks but about himself/herself and involves nor blames anyone else. In the same way, whoever says: "My name is So-and-So and I am a schizophrenic, emotionnal, overeater, etc." But whoever says: "My name is So-and-So and I am a Alfa-Del Family Group member", what does he or she speak about? ...

They speak (or avoid speaking!) about schizophrenia, depression or "disorders". Anxiety disorders (phobias, manias, whims, rituals, etc.), sleep disorders, learning disorders (attention deficit disorder, concentration or short-term memory disorder - lapses of memory, distractions, disorganization, etc.), conduct disorders (eating or sexual - bulimia, anorexia, etc.), personnality disorders ("defects of caracter"), obsessive-compulsive disorders (obsession for cleanliness, germs, gambling, etc), All of these are to be found in Alfa-Del Family Groups for dysfunctional Families, Friends and Foes of Alcoholics and Drug Addicts and other 12&12 Fellowships. Emotionaly disturbed, neurotic, dysfunctional persons who walk the path together, pilgrims always...

Families of alcoholics are, by definition, dysfunctional families. AFG members talk about alcoholism - the "other's" of course! But what about oneself? This is the typical denial of mental illness. A dysfunctional person attracts another and thus are born and perpetuated dysfunctional families. So is it with families when one member has a mental illness -- schizophrenia, depression or a disorder. Research on mental illnesses tend increasingly to demonstrate that the underlying disorder to alcoholism is often one or another mental disorder, that is to say, a chronic inherited neurological or brain dysfunction that is tamed -- must be tamed -- for serenity comes from accepting things we cannot change.

Adult children of alcoholics -- troubled, neurotic, dysfunctional -- know that your "troubles" are not caused only by environmental but also by genetic, hereditary causes, this reduces much of the guilt and facilitates forgiveness.
 *** Adult children of alcoholics, know that in the surounding of an alcoholic and / or drug addict, the full range of mental disorders is found -- schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, obsession-compulsion -- and that alcoholics themselves are often affected.
 *** Adult children of alcoholics, learn to downplay your situation and laugh at yourself, humor being the cure for many ills.
 *** Adult children of alcoholics become pilgrims, anonymous but effective, with other pilgrims who walk the same path. "Together we are moving forward, no matter whereto ... "
 *** Adult children of alcoholics, know that there are many alternatives in mental health that did not exist at the time of the founding of AFG. Know that science evolves, as does medicine, history, etc.. If AFG does not evolve, draw your own conclusion.

Note: Health professionals ascribe little if any therapeutic value to self-help groups such as AFGs At most, they see them as a place of socialization whereby troubled -- neurotic, dysfunctional -- persons can break their isolation, which is already pretty much.

Welcome with us. Soon you will start speaking about real things and you will be free. Hugs and fraternal greetings.

Quebec City, Que, Canada, Mars 2004

The average age in traditional religious "congregations" in Quebec is 80 years and renewal is practically non-existent.

What does that have to do with Alfa-Del Family Groups for Dysfunctional Families, Friends and Foes of Alcoholics and Drug Addicts? Alfa-Del Family Groups is a "fellowship" whose members are mainly women (88% in 2003) and whose average age is around 51 years.

Some women there still live with an "active" or sober alcoholic husband but do not feel sorry for it. They have learned to cope with their situation. "Live and Let Live", they say. Other women made peace with an ex- or late alcoholic husband and have neither resentment, nor rancour, nor bitterness. Married again, they are happy whith their new husband. "Water runs in rivers and never runs back", they say.

Some women there, alas, of a rather mature age, never took responsability for their mariage failure and will likely take no responsability for their sexuality. These never came to terms with men and never finish settling accounts whith them. Shrews, scolds and misanders (men-hators); enablers, manoeuverers, dishonest persons and hypocrites. "Members are not willing to serve", they say.

Mental or brain disorders
frequently met with in the neighborhood of persons with alcoholism

Schizophrenia and related disorders:
Bipolar disorder (BD)
Anxiety disorders - depression (GAD)
(phobias, habits and manners, fads, rituals)
Obsessive-compulsive disorders (OCD)
(compulsive eating or sexuatlity, compulsive gambling)
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
(Learning disorders, short term memory problems
forgetfulness, distractions, lunatism, etc.)
Borderline Personality Disorders (BPD)
(behfavior disorders: eccentric, dramatic, dependent,
"defects of caracter", enabling, etc.)
etc...
To which could be added Fibromyalgia
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)
and other "elusive" diseases.

Emotionaly disturbed, neurotic, dysfunctional persons
(a chronic hereditary neurological dysfonction)

It might well be necessary not to worry so much about the public image but rather renew and diversify Alfa-Del Family Groups which otherwise could finish like traditional religious "congregations"... Hugs and fraternal greetings.

Quebec City, Que, Canada, May 2004

Schizophobia

While talking with security gards of the public housing - hospital - where I live, I coined a new word - as I happen to do sometimes - schizophobia. It is like homophbobia and zenophobia, it is an unjustified fear of others, an unjustified fear of difference. That must be talked about in order to be demystified. Please talk about it and let it be known. - Peleane, december 2011

Self-knowledge - Self-acceptation - Self-esteem
To thine own self be true - Keep it simple

Listen and learn
We are no longuer alone

Easy does it
Together we move forward

Be good to yourself
Live and let live

One day at a time - Just for Today
One thing at a time - First things first
How important is it? For whom?

Let go - Give up - Surender
Surender to the grace of God
or to circumstances

Think - Think - Meditate
Awareness - Acceptation - Action

I am free today to pledge my word
I get involved for my own sake
That choice is mine

Serenity - Courage - Wisdom
"... Serenity to accept
the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference."

A time for every thing,
Everything in its proper time,
And Time fixes things well.
Time soothes passions
And heals all wounds.
Time is a Power Higher
Such as everyone can understand It.

Keep an open mind
Look for the good

Water runs forward in rivers
and never runs back.
Everything passes by, so shall we.
As much goes with the wind.

Pilgrim in front of the Eternal
Pilgrim along with other pilgrims
Among them, with them, in them
Together etc....